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Creature Cocks Keychain - Cockness Monster

Creature Cocks Keychain - Cockness Monster - Main image
$9.12 $14.95 In stock

Category: Novelty

This green Cockness Monster inspired by the Lochness monster has shrunk down to travel with you wherever you go! Let your freak flag fly with these Creature Cocks keychains! Show off that you're into fantasy roleplay, mythical sex, or hot horror monsters! Place them with your keys, attach them to your phone case, clip them onto a bag or purse, or hang them from your rearview mirror to add a little flair and kinky fun! All the little dongs are made out of premium, phthalate-free, body-safe silicone and the metal is nickel-free for sensitive skin. Not meant for internal use. Novelty item only.

At twilight, the sun hits the water just right. You're boating out on the water and know you should return, but the way the water glitters as the sun sets is too beautiful and you've stayed out later than you should. You know these waters, there aren't supposed to be mysteries or surprises but a strange fog has rolled in and the mists hang heavy and low over the water's surface. You see a ripple in the water and the hair on the back of your neck stands up. Something bumps the bottom of your boat and rocks it so you nearly fall over. Panicked, you grab the oars and begin to paddle back to shore. It's too late! Another bump and you've fallen into the water! As you gasp for breath, your arms and legs thrashing to keep your head above water, something wraps around you! Instead of drowning you, a head lifts up out of the water and looks you right in the eye. Your heartbeat speeds up and you stop breathing, terrified. It holds you right above the water, but then the head disappears and you look around, frightened and confused, wondering where it went. Then suddenly you feel teeth ripping at your clothing and before you can stop it, you're being penetrated! You want to stop it, but every ridge and bump shocks your body with waves of pleasure!

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Standard Shipping: Handling (business days) 0–1; Transit (business days) 7–15.

Express Shipping: Handling (business days) 0–1; Transit (business days) 7–15.

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Standard Shipping · United States: $0.00

Express Shipping · United States: $3.99

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United States · Return window (days after delivery): 30. Return method: By mail. Return postage: Seller pays.

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Customer Reviews (4.8 / 5 · 5 reviews)

Benjamin ★★★★★

The green color is way more vibrant in person, and the keychain weight feels solid enough to survive daily jangling in my bag. My coworker spotted it on my desk and couldn't stop laughing which made my whole week. It's exactly the kind of weird little thing that makes a boring commute better.

Joseph M. ★★★★★

Took this little guy on a road trip and he’s been hanging from my bag ever since—the green color is exactly like the Loch Ness monster, and the keyring is sturdy enough for daily use. Definitely gets a few laughs from friends.

Stella ★★★★★

The silicone is surprisingly soft and squishy, not hard plastic like I expected. It's already gotten a few laughs from my friends when I pulled it out of my bag.